Michael Noble returns this week with a guest blog. Last month he related a story of an odd school experiment he was part of as a kid. This time he relates an odd thought experiment he did on his kids. The story is from about eight years ago and he swears this conversation really did happen…
“So how was school?” I asked the younger of my two daughters.
“Okay,” she responded.
“Do you have a lot of homework today?”
“Tough stuff? Or is it pretty easy?”
“It’s not that big of a deal. But I need some colored markers to do a project. I have to color in some things for a history assignment.”
“We have plenty of crayons…”
“No. I need markers. Colored ones.”
“Oh. Well, there are colored pens you can use. I saw them in a drawer just the other day.”
“I can’t use those. I need markers. The big ones. And they need to be colored.”
“Why do they need to be colored?”
“For my project.”
“Did your teacher tell you this project needed to be colored?”
“No. That’s just the way I want to do it.”
By this point, my older daughter was intently listening to our conversation.
“Do you have money to purchase markers?” I continued.
“No. It’s your responsibility as the adult to buy them for me.”
“No, it’s not! My parents never bought me markers. I never needed to color anything for a project. Matter’a fact, we didn’t have markers with colors back when I was in school. We only had crayons if we wanted to color anything. And they were pretty expensive at the time, if memory serves. A lot of us couldn’t afford them. And those who couldn’t, like me, managed by creating our own primary colors.”
“Really? How did you do that?”
“Well, it was interesting and creative. We picked our noses and used the boogers for the color green. We poked our fingers with stick pins ’til they bled for the color red. And we peed to get the color yellow. Green, red and yellow. Primary as primary colors get.”
“Dad… !!!” exclaimed my daughters in unison.
“Wow, that trumps the walking two miles uphill to and from school story,” the elder one noted.
“Hey, waitaminnit!” my younger daughter interjected. “Green isn’t a primary color! The primary colors are blue, red and yellow!”
“Well, that just goes to show you how old I am. When I was a kid, the color blue didn’t exist. Green was one of the original primary colors. When blue was invented it took over for green…”
“Dad… !!!” they exclaimed in unison once again.
“I know!” I responded. “I was rather impressed people were willing to do that. Come to think of it, green was a very popular color back then.”
Thank you, Michael. And eeewwww. You can read more of his writing at hotchka.com.