Category Archives: Villains

It’s Time For Another Curse

09yankees-1-jumbo

Photo credit: NY Times

The Minnesota Twins have made the playoffs! They clinched the second Wild Card spot when the Chicago White Sox beat the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of Orange County of California last night. Yeah, it would have felt better for the Twins to have beaten the Cleveland Indians to win the Wild Card spot, but I’ll take it.

This is the first time the Twins have been in the postseason since 2010. Since 2003, they have made the playoffs and lost in the Division Series five times. Four of those losses came at the hands of the New York Yankees (2003, 2004, 2009, and 2010). The Evil Empire has just had their way with my beloved team. The Twins manage make the postseason only to come up against those guys and zip! out of the playoffs.  Oh, how I hate the Yankees!

Well, Twins fans are girding themselves for facing the Bronx Bastards once again in the postseason. This time it is very likely the Twins will meet those postseason killers in a one game Wild Card playoff. It’s one game. One chance to finally beat those jerk faces! Some Minnesota fans are saying, “Bring it on! It’s one game. The Twins can win one game.”

Man, I hope so, but I have that sinking feeling baseball’s most vile team is just going to do it to us again.

You know what baseball needs? Another curse.

This curse needs to be placed on the Hated Yankees. It’s been eight years since they won a World Series and that’s a good start. They need to not win another one for, oh, let’s not be greedy, 100 years! Yeah! A century of the damn Yankees not winning a World championship would be good for baseball.

The Chicago Cubs went longer than that between World Series championships, it needs to happen to the Hated Yankees.

Oh, they can get close. They can make the postseason as many times as they like, but they just can’t win it all. Wouldn’t it be great if they made it into the fall classic, but somehow managed to blow it? In fact, they should be poised to win a World Series in a game six. They should be down to the last out, the last strike even, from winning the series, but somehow the National League champ finds a way to win that game and then beats the hated ones in game seven.

How great would that be?

It’s time the Evil Empire and their fans learn the heartache of getting so close and not winning. Again and again and again.

But what will cause the curse? Perhaps this Wild Card game against my Twins (assuming the Boston Red Sox win the AL East) will provide the moment Yankee fans point to as the beginning of the curse. It could be a boneheaded play, a missed call, fan interference, a llama running onto the field. Anything that can be blamed for helping the despised team lose.

If only the MN Twins could win this one. I know the odds are against them. But if they could pull it off, no matter how well they do the rest of this postseason, they would be heroes of the baseball world.

And maybe, just maybe, the progenitors of baseball’s next curse.

A boy can dream, can’t he?

Packing Peanuts!

Feel free to comment and share.

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , ,

You never forget your first James Bond

Writer’s note: I realize the world lost Roger Moore back in May, so I’m a little late in writing this, but I had to write about something this week.

Roger Moore is my James Bond. When I was a kid his Bond was the first I saw in the theater. Because of that, I’ve always considered him to be my James Bond. I think a lot of folks my age (I’m 52) feel the same way.

I’m not saying he was the best. Just that when I think of James Bond, I see Moore in my mind’s eye. Of course, I have seen the other Bonds and they all brought something of interest to the character. But still Moore is my Bond.

It can be said that all the worst Bond films featured Roger Moore. Moonraker, Octopussy, and A View To A Kill were all dreadful. That’s probably due, in part, to the fact the actor had gotten so old that the notion that old fart could do all that super-spy stuff was too hard to accept. Moore was about 46 years old when he assumed the legendary role. Sean Connery was 41 when he gave it up! So, it’s hardly surprising that the spy really got to be so damn old, so damn fast. He had quite a head start, after all.

Be that as it may, Moore is my Bond.

Let me discuss my two favorite James Bond films, both from the Moore era: Live And Let Die (1973) and The Man With The Golden Gun (1974).

First off, both films are terribly tone deaf when it comes to their treatment of women. It’s more understandable that the Bond films of the 1960s would have a more limited view of women. However, the Moore era wasn’t much better. Even with Women’s Lib taking a prominent role, in the 1970s, in the movement toward equal human and civil rights for all, the Bond films were slow to change.

article-0-0224F7F6000005DC-913_468x664

In The Man With The Golden Gun, Bond walked, unannounced, into a strange woman’s (played by Maud Adams) bathroom while she showered. When she realized he was there, she confronted him with the gun she had with her in the shower. Bond asked if she always showers with a gun. She should have replied, “Do you always just walk into strangers’ hotel rooms and watch them shower?”

Later, when he was ready to bed a young, inexperienced agent (Britt Ekland), they were interrupted by the appearance of the shower woman. Bond decided to hide his younger conquest in the closet, telling her not to worry, she’ll get her chance to break off a bit the Bond soon, and then proceeded to have sex with the other woman.

In Live And Let Die, he convinces a Tarot card reader (Jane Seymour) to sleep with him because it was foretold she would in the cards. “You do believe in the cards, don’t you?” Well, she did and they did. The audience is let in on the “joke” when we see the deck was “slightly stacked” in Bond’s favor. It was played for a sly laugh in 1973, but as I watched it just recently with two males friend who are close to my age, one noted that “seduction” was pretty much rape. We all agreed. We also agreed that Bond was probably riddled with STDs.

solitaire

When I watch these movies with my son I always pause them at those moments to explain that is not how to treat women. Some of you are probably saying I shouldn’t tout these two as my favorites. It’s a fair cop. I still like them and I find much to be entertained by, but I remind myself each time I watch either of them, to heed the same lesson I give my son.

The movie does make one advancement in race relations. It is the first Bond film to feature the super spy having sexual relations with an African-American woman played by Gloria Hendry. He still treats her as worthy of his penis, but not his respect. One step forward, several steps back.

img_1938

Live And Let Die has James Bond looking rather trim, fit, yet slender as opposed to Connery’s more muscular version (Connery was a former body builder before he started his acting career). Moore looks good. He wears clothes well and he appears younger than 46. And it was a pretty good idea to make certain to get Golden Gun produced and released the next year to take advantage of Moore still looking fairly youthful.

kananga

The villain played by Yaphet Kotto isn’t bad. He plays a dual role. One as a Harlem gangster, Mr. Big, complete with the ’70’s blaxloitation patter and look so popular in cinema in those days. The other as a small time dictator of a fictional Caribbean island. This character was more refined and educated. But, like all Bond villains, he doesn’t just kill Bond when he has the chance.

Just shoot him! Don’t tell him your plan. Don’t have your henchmen do it. Don’t come up with some elaborate method to off the man. Just shoot him! Oh, they’ll never learn.

Live And Let Die also has a really good secondary villain. Not Tee Hee (Julius Harris), the villain with the mechanical arm, although he is good. I mean Baron Samedi (Geoffrey Holder). You might remember him from the 7-Up ads in which he touted the “uncola… hahahahaaaa.” He was great, if underused, in the movie. He was good and creepy and made quite an impression on me when I was a kid. However, Bond dispatched with him a little too easily though. Or did he?

latest

Possibly the best part of this movie is its theme song by Paul McCartney and Wings. Say what you want about any of the other theme songs, none comes close to as great a theme song as this one. There are a few that aren’t bad, but this one is the best.

scaramanga

The Man With The Golden Gun is probably my favorite of all the Bond films. This is mainly due to its villain, Francisco Scaramanga. The best Bond films all have one vital thing in common: A good villain. This villain is wonderfully portrayed by Christopher Lee and you can tell he was really enjoying the part. Scaramanga is a high-priced hitman who gets a million dollars a hit. And in 1974, a million dollars wasn’t chump change.

nick_nack_herve_villechaize-640_c0-26-640-398_s400x233

Golden Gun also has its excellent, if creepy, henchman. The polar opposite of Live And Let Die’s Baron Samedi, Nick Nack, played by Herve Villechaize, delights when his boss dispatches of his target during the cold open. He also delights when he thinks he’s stymied his boss in the funhouse maze Scaramanga uses for his special hits. In fact, there is a likeness of Bond on display in the funhouse, because Scaramanga knows it’s inevitable he and Bond will face off against each other. He keeps the likeness as a reminder and as inspiration.

That sets up why I really like this one. As I stated earlier, the problem with Bond villains is they never just kill Bond. However, in Scaramanga’s case it makes sense. He believes himself to be the finest marksman and hitman in all the world, but he wants to test himself against the one man in the world who could give him a true challenge – James Bond. So, the one on one ending works, even with the talking about his evil plans and not just killing Bond when he had the chance. Where’s the sport in that?

gallery-1492302622-untitled

Both films feature the comic relief character Sheriff JW Pepper played by Clifton James. That character gets so dangerously close to being straight up racist. Oh, hell. What am I saying? He’s probably the Grand Poobah of his local KKK chapter. I cringe every time he calls a black man “boy” in Live And Let Die. It is softened slightly by the fact he calls every adult male in the film “boy.”

These films are flawed. No doubt about it. They are of their time and are good examples of how far we’ve come as a society. No Bond film made in the last twenty years would come close to the chauvinism and racial insensitivity as seen in these two films. And that’s progress.

My social justice side urges me to shun and hate these films. The kid in me still wants to like them. Warts and all.

I guess I choose to follow the kid in me.

Packing Peanuts!

Feel free to comment and share.

 

 

Tagged , , , , , ,

The best portrayal of the Joker…

JOKER

Is Heath Ledger’s, of course. His was the most plausible version of the Joker in film or television so far. I have to admit I have not seen Jared Leto’s Joker yet, but from what I’ve heard he’s barely in the Suicide Squad movie anyway. Ledger’s performance was based on how such a character would be in the real world. He wasn’t dropped into a vat of nasty chemicals that bleached his skin and snapped his mind. His mind was snapped somehow, the audience is never told how, but I’m certain a vat of chemicals wasn’t involved. His clown look was achieved with simple, mundane makeup.

In fact, until I read Alan Moore’s The Killing Joke many years ago, as I started getting interested in Batman, I had no idea the Joker didn’t wear clown makeup. I had been a Marvel kid for most of my life, what did I know about DC’s universe?

However, I’m not going to heap more praise on Ledger’s Joker here. No, I’m going to praise the creepiest Joker. Cesar Romero’s Joker. To my mind, that was the most creepy and scary version. Of all the portrayals of Batman’s archest villain, Romero’s was the most clown-looking one. And that clown look is pretty unsettling.

I’m also taking into account the fact that the Batman TV series in the ’60s was my earliest exposure to Batman and Robin, Batgirl (Yvonne Craig – yum), and all those villains. And being a kid when I first watched that great series, I took it seriously. I didn’t realized the campy take of the show. Adults watching the show caught it and liked it for that. But we kids didn’t pick up on the humor. We believed it!

So, the fact I was a naive kid watching Batman, taking it all so seriously, probably still plays into how creepy I think Romero’s Joker is. There was something about Cesar Romero’s voice and laugh that really felt like lunacy. And I think that Romero’s insistence to not shave his mustache and have the clown white applied right over it also added to the creep factor. Of course, adult fans of the show at the time probably felt the makeup over mustache look just added to the camp factor of the show.

Regardless, Ledger may have made the Joker seem real. But the Joker I get skeeved out the most by and still like the most is by the originator: Cesar Romero.

Packing Peanuts!

Please comment and share.

Tagged , , , , , ,