Hey, would you like to buy a monkey?

live mokey & sea horsesForget the soap that turned your enemies’ hands black. Never mind the whooping cushions. Pay no attention to the onion flavored chewing gum. And don’t even bring up the X-Ray specs. Because in 1965, you could buy a live squirrel monkey through the mail for a mere $18.95!

The ad states that a squirrel monkey can make “an adorable pet and companion”, but a monkey? I’m not sure that’s a good idea.

The ad does guarantee live delivery. Which is a good thing. Along with the monkey you’ll get a free cage, a free leather collar and leash, a free monkey toy and instructions.

I assume those instructions are on how to care for the monkey, but I have my doubts as to how good they are, because the ad tells us that squirrel monkeys eat the same food we do, even lollipops! A staple of any primate’s diet, I’m sure.

I wonder how many kids scraped together the $18.95 and purchased a “darling live pet monkey” through this ad in the back of a comic book, without informing Mom and Dad. Must have been quite a surprise when that package arrived.

“Billy! A monkey?! Now I understand why you had me stock up on all those lollipops. Just wait until your father gets home, young man!”

And live seahorses! A buck apiece! What a bargain!

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